Lisa:
Hey, Springfield! Are you suffering from the heartbreak of monster-itis? Then take a tip from Mr. Paul Anka!
Paul Anka:
To stop those monsters, one-two-three
Here's a fresh new way that's trouble-free
It's got Paul Anka's guarantee
Lisa:
Guarantee void in Tennessee
Paul Anka and Lisa:
Just don't look! Just don't look! (x2)